Why you need people who don’t agree with you on your team

No one likes being openly opposed.  Lately I’ve found myself having conversations with people who seemed not capable of following simple logic.  If A = B and B=C, then A=C.  Basic logic right? Not when it comes to humans with opinions and feelings.

I have plenty of “online friends” who have radically different opinions than I on politics, religion, real estate, kids, alien and other conspiracies.  I enjoy reading how passionate they are in their views and sometimes wonder how we ever even became friends.  But I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Every time they say or write something that doesn’t align with my own views, it makes me think.  And there’s nothing introverts enjoy more than thinking.  Did I miss something?  What do they know that I don’t? Why do they have that opinion?  Are they just bat-soup crazy?  I mean I’m the most reasonable person I know so those who oppose me must be wrong. . . well, not always.

I’m not a fan of conflict but I have no problem defending my positions in writing or by talking.  I most enjoy my friends who can help me expand my thinking and sometimes even make me have those coveted “Aha!” moments. If they can do it without belittling me or making me feel like an anomaly, even better.  I try, too, when folks come at me with nonsensical opinions or even incorrect knowledge, to gently guide them to my enlightened view.  It doesn’t always work; some might see it as manipulative but it’s so much better than shouting at each other at the top of our lungs or gathering armies to settle things once and for all.

Yes, I admit I like to quietly influence people to see my preferred way.  “I try to get folks to come to the decision I’ve already made.” Introverts aren’t often seen as having strong opinions.  It’s quiet the opposite.  We just don’t always feel like we have to fight over it but if it is important enough we will stand our ground.

So enjoy your friends and welcome into your quiet world, those who don’t always agree with you.


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